Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
