carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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