i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
