u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
