She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
