he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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