no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
