i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
