i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
