Umm I'm too high to move.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize