What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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