I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
