Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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