I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize