I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
