What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
