that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
