Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra

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(714): View more from California

Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.

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(253): View more from Washington

Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about

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(678): View more from Georgia

Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before

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(847): View more from Illinois

There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"

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(325): View more from Texas

I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?

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(256): View more from Alabama

I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants

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(305): View more from Florida

He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!

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