i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
