Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
