More tranny stories later!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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