she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
