i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
