Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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