The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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