i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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