Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
