If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
