i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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