Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
