a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
im on a boat
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