So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize