She's JV to your varsity
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
