You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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