why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
