She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
