using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize