i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
