its not stalking. its research.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
