I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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