I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So squirting runs in the family.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
