And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
