omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize