And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
