I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
