I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I supernannyed him into submission
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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