theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
