Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize