Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
