the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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