Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Enjoy the penises
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
