Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
