You smell like stripper and shame
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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