similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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