Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I supernannyed him into submission
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
