did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
