Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
