i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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