I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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