I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
