Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
