The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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