whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
