Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
