i just had sex bonerless
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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