Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
