that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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