I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
