I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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