she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize