Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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