Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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