Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
