i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
