They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
