and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
