He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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