Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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